A quick tide you over: My Thoughts On Ponyo

So, I thought I'd do a quickie article to tide people over. I recently watched Ponyo on HBO OnDemand. I figured that it might be good, cause Disney has never really let me down before...

Oh dear god was I wrong. Dead wrong. Nightmares will haunt me from this film. It was a slow and very painful watching. And this is a veteran of bad animes. My point for this one is, why? Why does it exist? Let's break it down, starting with:

Animation:
Hello? 1970's? Yea, I found your animation style. It's being resurrected from it's grave by a studio that gave us other works of art. Beautiful works. But now, here's a shining example of a work of art that earned it's death. Not only was it totally annoying to watch, it makes it difficult to like the look of any character. Take for example:

This is Ponyo's... dad... I guess... Yea. The 1960's were a strange time? Yea. This is the animation style you can look forward to. There was one, one good character model. AND SHE WAS GONE FOR HALF THE DAMN TIME! And that would be the boy's mom:

Too bad. What a waste. Also, no more pictures from the movie. They give me horrible, horrible nightmare.

Next is Story:

One word. No. No is the point of this story. The point of this story is boy meets fish, fish turns human, fish becomes full human on the basis that the boy will love fish girl forever. In real life THIS WOULD NEVER WORK. Here's a summary of what happened the following year, boy hate girl and regrets agreeing to spend the rest of his life with her. But at least the world was spared, I guess. Fucking story suckass.
It has no real good idea of what the hell is going on. It's a story that only would make sense to a stoner...

Wait.
Bad animation.
Poorly Developed Characters (yea, we glanced over this one cause this is a quickie and I'll do this more indepth in a video mid Feb)
Horrible story...

It all makes sense. They made this movie for people on drugs. This wasn't meant for kids. This was meant for stoners and people coked up to all hell. It now all makes sense. So much sense.

Well, that basically leaves this to summary: Never watch this. Don't. Spare yourself. It's not cute, it's not kid friendly (dad of the boy is left to die at sea and no one seems to care much. Instead we think little Ponyo is more important. Fuck that bitch), and it's not worth watching. Leave the piece of trash in the 5 dollar bin at Walmart, it's a grave it deserves. I'll go back to watching good animes for a while. God knows I need a mouth rinse.

>Steve